平淡天真

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http://idealistjune.blogbus.com/logs/37369581.html

小加是个黄皮肤的加州孩子，大学毕业以后父母决定放虎归山，让他一人来北京闯荡。

应该说，小加的中文教育相当不错，跟他讲中文基本没有问题，加上他还能不时坏坏的爆出“二奶”、“小三儿”之类的潮语，让你很容易误认为他已经被改造成了地道的中国哥们。

小加是我在O公司认识的朋友，现在不常见面了，偶尔会在网上聊天。小加的网聊方式是垮垮的英文夹着若干中文错别字，一个不远万里来到中国的国际友人能这样已经不错了，我对小加同学还是相当宽容和理解。不过几次令我啼笑皆非的对话之后，我才意识到，小加是个典型的香蕉人，别看长得跟咱们差不多，可是思维方式完全和咱不是一个频道。我常常自以为比较擅长跨文化交流，可是在跟小加同学过几招之后就会有种被香蕉皮绊倒的挫败感。

例如有一次，小加问我：What is Chinese for “acquisition”?

我说：收购

小加： Chinese companies will 搜购 a lot of companies, yeah?

我：“收购”, not “搜购”。(小加父母是台湾人，所以他平翘舌不分，用拼音输入法打中文时会出现别字。)

小加：What’s the difference?

我：Shou gou insdead of Sou gou.

小加：Skinny 购? I didn’t know that was a phrase.

哐当我倒！敢情在这哥们的vocabulary里，shou对应的只有skinny? 这不跟《喜福会》里，唐人街长大的女孩子管堂姐叫sugar sister一样了吗？

另外一个例子有些不雅，不过颇能反映文化差异。

小加：Did I ever tell you the 冷笑话 said at O company and nobody liked it?

我：No. You didn’t.

小加：We were going into a crowded elevator and I thought it would be funny to turn to a colleague and ask “你的梅毒zhi好了吗？” But nobody laughed. It was quiet in the elevator. I was sad nobody liked the joke.

我：Sorry, I cannot laugh, either. What’s funny about it?

小加：Oh, well. I just thought O company colleagues are younger and they would share my 幽默感。Just thought it would be funny to ask your colleague if their 梅毒 was cured, in an elevator with many people.

我：Your joke is too 冷！How do you like it if someone threw that question at you in a crowded elevator? Isn’t it too embarrassing?

小加: I think it’s funny. It’s a joke. Of course, nobody would think I would have the disease.

我：It’s cultural difference. Here anything related to s-e-x is unspeakable in public.

小加：Oh. Right. But doesn’t that make it even more funny? I mean, I think Chinese people all know 1,000 yellow jokes.

我: Ok. Maybe. But this one is the 1001^st. It is too personal. I bet the guy you joked with blushed all of a sudden and became very suspect to others in the elevator. 你把那哥们给陷害了！

小加: But isn’t something like 梅毒 kind of ridiculous? I would assume they will not take that seriously.

我：Yes, they may.

小加：Are you sure? I have had Chinese friends who joke with me to remember not to get AIDS in Macau.

我：That’s not the same.

小加：梅毒 is not the same as AIDS?

我：”Hey, be careful not to get AIDS in Macau” is obviously a joke; “Hey, have you cured your AIDS” is more a personal attack.    

小加同学在网络另一端自然对我的解释百思不得其解，而我自己也云里雾里了。神呐，救救这个小朋友也救救我吧！